I DONT WANT TO BE JEALOUS ANYMORE I don't want to read articles about the rich and famous and get filled with envy at how they are doing something that they absolutely love every single day and are making good money out of it. This is what having nothing to do does to me - it makes me want to do something that makes my life worth living every second. And right now I have nothing to do (studying has become something as natural as breathing so basically it doesn't really count anymore)
Ugh why can't I do it like Elizabeth did in Eat, Pray, Love? Yes I'm reading that book and it fills me with envy.
I JUST WANT TO READ THESE STORIES AND ARTICLES AND THINK "YEAHHH I'M NOT JEALOUS BECAUSE MY LIFE FEELS FULFILLED TOO"
I know I must be patient but OMG WHEN WILL THAT TIME COME? and by "that time" I mean the time when I feel true happiness and satisfaction about my life. The time when I wake up every morning and know my life is worth something. The time when I don't wake up to the hopes of having a meaningful life in the future.
Ugh I hate being free. It gives me the Devils free time to compare my life to others and be unsatisfied and angry about it. I NEED A PASSION IN MY LIFE.
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