Declassified: Wooing Chicks

Wooing chicks is an art indeed. But the problem with this kind of art is that it hardly ever changes. There are generalized steps followed by every male species to woo a female counterpart. Or at least that's what my observation has been so far.

(So this post is based on several observations that I've made over my teenage years (aka the highly inexperienced years where you think you've gained all the knowledge the world has to offer- oh the naivety). And it is by no means a general generalization. Obviously, there are exceptions to every case scenario.)

So ladies, here is what you're up against:

1. Flattering or to be flattered: This rule can strongly be opposed because I have seen strong exceptions to this case. Anyways, what happens in this stage is that the guy tries to make the girl feel special. Hold on sistahs, because even though you might be special, remember how every girl is special in her own way. So there is no need for your brain to go in a high drive of self-loving "My special-ness has finally been noticed by this guy I SHALL LOVE HIM WHO DISCOVERED ME" There also have been cases when a guy tries to make a girl realize  how special he is and she needs to fall in love with him. The plain difference: in the former case, at least the guy is interested in you. In the later case, the guy just wants the satisfaction of being liked. Anyways, for the girls who are not ensnared by stage 1, read on for stage 2.

2. Patronizing: Ah. Yes. We women like the feeling of being protected. And on some level, guys know that. So its "Hey girl, come to me and I shall protect thee because I'm a strong strong man." Now THAT, really is an effective move which usually ends up with a girl saying, "Oh you! You had me at 'I'll take care of you babe!'" *emotional dramatized crying*

3. Coaxing: For girls who manage to escape level two, well, level three is even more captivating. The Gentle Coaxing. Yes, we girls also like to feel that guys would be helpless without us. So they appeal to our, I guess, maternal instincts? (The instincts to help out a helpless being) So we are faced with the REALLY EFFECTIVE "Please do this for me?" And Wala! We're doing exactly what the guy asked us to do.
If all else fails, the guys finally fall to the fourth stage, which I like to define as the Last hope. Or rather, it’s No Hope. For girls who manage to move through the mentioned stages without failing, Hats off sistahs, hats off. You are very strong indeed.

4. Reasoning: Now that's my favourite one. The one I like. In this stage, the guy finally realizes that girls are not the super sentimental creatures they assume us to be. That we can't be influenced by emotions and feelings alone we need to be reasoned with. But to be honest, this is occasionally the stage where gurrrlll yo off his admiration list. I'll explain why. At this stage, the guy realizes that they are not facing a lesser being that needs to be taken care of (remember, that a male species' primitive instinct is to 'protect and take care' because he has been given bodily strength to do that by nature). They are facing an equal who can take care of herself. They are facing someone who can oppose their ideas. And that is an undesirable trait no. 1. It's actually a defence mechanism. Guys like to be the alpha males. And once they mark someone as an equal, they start seeing them as a threat on a subconscious level. They want to assert dominance and if they see an equal they can't do that. Ladies, once you're in this stage, you can join the "Forever Lonely Cat-Lady Club". The good news: You are the alpha females. You are the worthy opponents. That's worth it if you harbor a secret mistrust of the general men population and want to protect yourselves against their influence.

But you know what? All this process actually helps the girl get her desirable partner (the one who can protect her if his words of protection are not too shallow) and helps get man his desirable partner (Someone who will take care of him by listening to/obeying him and satisfying his need to be acknowledged as the alpha male.). So what exactly is the point of this post when women like being wooed and men like wooing? It all just fits doesn't it?  Let's just go with the flow of nature? Why oppose it?

Well, this post is for the exception I've been talking about for so long. I'm talking about those members of my sisterhood who have seen men misuse their powers and have learnt to only mistrust them.

So girls, if you regard men with general hostility and you want to be treated equally, now you know how it works. Now, if a guy does the same thing to you and you don't want him to do that because you're so sick of this constant never changing behaviour of trying-to-assert-his-authority-on-me-and-make-me-do-things-I-don't-want-to , you can yell "GET NEW MOVES HOME-BOY!"