Getting Shitted Upon

The reason why I've started blogging so much is because this is literally the only comfort I have now a days. The joy of constantly writing and whining is so relieving. And the best part is that because it's MY blog, and no one comments on it, no one can tell me to stop whining!

The thing is that all my friends are facing exactly the same situation that I am. That feeling of being trapped and suffocated (not to death because death would just put an end to the misery of being suffocated and what we're in has no end). So even though I do not hesitate in relieving myself and dumping all my whining on my friends, it really isn't as consoling as I would want it to be. Because we all know there just is no escape from all this.

Dear future me,
I know once we get past the time and look back, it seems not-so-difficult and looks quite happy. But please remember that college years were the worst years of your teenage life. Everyday your soul died a little and the funny part is that I'm not even joking. Your soul LITERALLY died every day. What you loved most about studying came to you in your college years and bit you in the ass until you were so sore that you couldn't even sit straight anymore. And after it was done biting you it shat on your favourite doll. The doll was made of cotton so it absorbed all the shit and so, you couldn't touch the doll until it was thoroughly cleaned which took A LOT of time. And even after it was cleaned, there were marks left behind which reminded you of how your doll was shat-upon. So don't you dare tell anyone that college years were fun and you learned a lot and all that bullshit because what you learnt doesn't outweigh how your doll was shat-upon. The only kindness you can do to the poor souls who are just entering into college-life is to warn them how their soul will slowly die. Or don't. Knowledge of it beforehand doesn't really make it any easier. Just give them a mournful pat on the back or a hug and tell them that it will be over soon.

The only hope I have right now that keeps me going is that I've been told that the college years really are horrible. After these two years, life gets just a wee bit okay-ier. I'm gambling on that 'later'. But for now I’ll just be overly dramatic:

My soul is dying and dead and dying again,

It's dead, it's dead, and it keeps dying again,

It gets up again and dies and then dies again,

It's killing me, it's worrying me and it's driving me insane.

P.S The doll represents everything that I love doing but I can't do any of those things. And by some miracle even if I do end up doing the stuff that I want to, it isn't really that much fun because most of the time is spent worrying about how I'm not studying.