And now for some, as the French say, Silvou plait

One often finds oneself in a delimma most often brought upon by young age; but one eventually realizes that it is not that one's fellow species does not care. The facts are these: after their own lives, there is no spare care.

It is not self indulgence.

It is a fact of life.

And even if they did, when the sun goes down, one finds oneself looking through the darkness through ones own eyes only.

Ah. The loneliness of human existence.


P.s the kind of friendship and care that friends and other human beings show in movies and books show is highly over rated and largely untrue. What they can show is kindness. The difference between kindness and care is that care comes from somewhere inside your heart from a place reserved for others. Kindness comes from that place inside your heart which is reserved for your own satisfaction and we'll being. One could say that kindness is a selfish act which keeps the world at peace.

At my age you can find a friend too many to discuss your boyfriend problems with but when it gets real, one finds oneself strangely abandoned.

I would have said that if not ffriends, then your family will always have your back but that would also be largely untrue. And then if blood abandons blood then one can't really expect a stranger to care.

I think it's a little joke that life plays on you. In happiness, it gives you the comfort of knowing that people around  you are there for a reason. And then it throws you in a pit and you find yourself falling all alone and you realize that human company is just an illusion. It all would have been okay if we could  just accept the fact that when worst comes to worst we all really are alone. That could be the end of it but no. Life doesn't do easy life doesn't do simple. It gives you "HOPE". Foul play on life's part there because what happens is that you keep trying to depend on people HOPING that they will understand but they don't so now the reaffirmation of the fact that you're alone is accompanied by the pain of failure and regret. and there sits life on her throne of lifeness giving humans a taste of Ze Fallen 'Ope (chef speciality from the Kitchens Of Despair)

Life is strange. Actually it's not. What's strange is us humans trying to find a pattern of easy comfort in it. When in reality life is an acronym for
L = Let's
I = iFuck
F = fIt
E = eUp

P. S. S was reading Sisterhood   of travelling pants and I revelled in its innocence. How Friends and sisters and even guys you just met cared for each other. Three books and a week of silent bitterness later I find myself rolling eyes at every instance of human care depicted  in it. Doesn't ducking happen in real life. God knows how much I would like to be proven wrobg