Bronchioles and Ink Pens

I wandered here. Okay I don't know how to start again. It's been quite a while and during this "while" I have come to believe that writing is not my strong suite so I am kind of discouraged. Plus there is this thing where my friends have started joking about my english which has had a counter productive effect on me (will communicate it to them and [it makes me happy to know that I now have friends who can understand my dilemmas and be kind to me instead of making me feel weak about feeling feels and not understanding]). But reading my previous posts has made me realize how I am not that bad. Plus it reminded me of the joy of blogging so I might start again.

A few random things in my head right now:

1. The friends I have made in Aku are so much better than any friendship I have had all my life. I was reading my old blog posts and it made me realize how my old friends made me feel so unattractive and unwanted. Plus they never really understood the peculiar situation I was in because of my family problems. The worst part - they never really made much of an effort to understand. I attribute that to the fact that everyone was immature back then, I see that they might have changed now. Or is it me who has changed? I don't know. But it wasn't pleasant reading about the effects my old friends had on me.

2. I'm thankful beyond words for the friends I have now. They mean the universe to me. I am so lucky to have people around me who have had such a positive impact on me.

3. I made a few racist jokes in a few of my previous posts. I am extremely sorry about that. I did not have an understanding of the impact these things have because I did live in a tiny world of my own. Now that I do, I realize how absolutely not right it is to make such jokes. I wanted to delete to those but now I have decided against it because they were an outcome of the limited knowledge I had and now that I know it's not cool AT ALL. So maybe at least it is one way of knowing that I have evolved.

4. The unfulfilled life I used to write about and how it frustrated me? I am finally living the fulfilling life

5. Lots and lots of love to my two special babies who just told me that they are two of my most avid readers and that they got really really excited about reading my blog. That encouraged me alot. (Baby # 1 Lara Baby # 2 Fatfats). I'm writing this one hoping that you guys will read it: YOU THERE. YES YOU. I LOVE YOU.

Feeling satisfied and happy. Will eventually start writing more from now on. It's A LOT of fun. I had my own "coming of age story" now. Can't wait to tell it to my "avid" readers. (I'm slightly disappointed that I can't use the term "imaginary fan base" now because two real humans told me that they read my blog.)

Toodaloo Gubsies.