Sadistically Spitting again

Ever been in one of those moments when you hate humans? Just completely hate them without any reason? And it makes you SO GLAD that you are not too dependent on them and if they get removed from your life, it will have the least bit of affect on you because you will just move on and live a happy independent life? And just the thought of being alone makes you weirdly deliriously happy?

And then people being so nice and understanding all the time makes it even worse. I mean fine, I get how none of us can live without human company and we do depend on each other more than we like to admit but seriously, will you not even give me the pleasure to whine about how nasty the stupid human species is? That’s just pure evil.

And this world. WHAT IS UP WITH THE STUPID SUNSHINE AND CHIRPING BIRDS? And why are people always trying to help? EVER HEARD OF DISTURBING PEOPLE SO YOU CAN HAVE THE PLEASURE OF HEARING THEM WHINE? Idiots.

It’s like all the niceness in the world is a rainbow shitting unicorn who is punching and kicking the goth out of me with a smile and a flower. It just won’t let me have an excuse to hate the world and be horrible and miserable. FRIGGIN UNICORN.

LET ME BE STUPID NICE UNICORN OF OPTIMISM LET ME LIVE IN THE DARKNESS OF THE MEAN HORRIBLE NASTY UNDERWORLD OF ALL THAT IS EVIL WHY MUST YOU COME AND BRIGHTEN THINGS UP? STUPID UNICORN YOU GO ROT IN HELL. Or don’t. Stupid unicorn’s probably going to spread hope and happiness there too. YOU STAY OUT OF THE HELL YOU STUPID UNICORN! YOU STAY THE DAMN OUT OF HELL!

Or you know what? Fine. Block out the only vent through which my evilness can escape. Ever seen “Me, Myself and Irene”? Don’t give me an excuse to let it all out and then it will all pent up and one day it will BLOW UP AND I’LL BE FULL-ON EVIL, SPREADING HATE AND MISERY IN THIS DAMNED WORLD UNTIL EVERYONE HATES EVERYONE. WHAT WILL YOU DO THEN STUPID NICE UNICORN? WHAT WILL YOU DO THEN?

E’RRYBADY LOOK AT ME

 Remember when there were manual cameras with a reel of twelve so you could take only twelve pictures and you knew you had to make each one count?

Let’s just say, the present shits on that.

“Capturing the moment” has just lost its meaning. In an album of more than three hundred pictures there will hardly be just a few which make you smile and think of the story behind the picture, and prove that the picture was indeed like a time capsule. The rest of them are like this:

Though I have to admit, these pictures do capture what we want them to capture: the idea of how we think we are beautiful and we deserve to be noticed so we’ll make people notice us. Obviously, what’s more satisfying than twenty likes on your picture and a comment section full of:

“OMG SO PRETAAYYY <3”

“marry me.”

“hawtness”

“omg you’re so pretttyyyyy <3 WE NEED T MEET UP” (Seriously, what is up with the you’re so pretty so we need to to meet up?)

“beesstttt  <3”

“DP THIS” (followed by the actual dp-ing of the picture with a description of “Because XYZ said so.” Because surely, you are so humble that you would never have thought of dp-ing this picture if XYZ hadn’t said so *major eye roll*)

All we want to do, while taking pictures, is show how photogenic we are. There hardly ever is a desire to capture the fun moment. Actually, it comes down to this: there hardly ever is a fun moment because we’re always so busy taking pictures to capture our beauty. (Unless, you describe taking good pictures as fun itself.) Like those pictures girls often take with babies. They think it captures how much they love kids and have fun with them but if you look closely, it’s very clear that they are so busy pouting or posing for the camera that the poor kid is actually being ignored.

I miss those big pictures where everyone lined up symmetrically with cheesy smiles on their faces to make sure that this one picture is worth it. And it really did become worth it. Because now, if we look at those pictures, we think about how, when and why they were taken and we smile. But the way we take pictures today, how, when and why has only one answer: because we were dressed pretty and we want to remind people that this piece of hawt ass is ours. It’s okay to do it occasionally but seriously, taking pictures with this attitude EVERY.SINGLE.TIME is a one way to disrespect the art and reason of picture taking. As if it’s not the moment worth being captured it’s just us. And that sucks.

We Be So Shallow.

Saddistically Spitting

Apparently, me and my friends are going through this phase where we are discovering life and have all these optimistic ideas about life and love and what not. I wonder how long it's going to take for real life to kick in. And by real life I mean the life in which you have so many problems that you barely have time to think about crap like this.
Thinking crap like this makes us feel so wonderful. It gives us the confidence like we've got the secrets of life all figured out and we'll grow up to be different than our elders who are always complaining how life is so hard. *bitter sarcastic spiteful laugh* As if our lives will be any less harder or less wonderful than our elders.

P.S Dedicated to my friend who was shares my 'spitefulness' with me.

Jus' Good Ol' Lovin'

"I'm seventeen years of age and I'm in love.

Someone once asked me if we can only become happy when we meet the one we love? Truth is, there’s a lot more to love than just that. I believe love is pure and vast. It can be found in the tiniest of things and we shouldn't confine it to just people. Love, to me, is all the colours of nature, the smell of rain and a good book to read. Love is smiling at a stranger and making people happy. Love is prayer and love is God. Love is great. And if you can find love in all of that then you can surely find happiness."
(http://thegirlwithoutthescarf.tumblr.com/)

We're so used to labelling love. True, love has many levels in this world: there is the parents love; the friends-love; the siblings love; the lovers love but I believe not every relationship has to fall within the criterion described by people. Sometimes it's just love. Love that is pure and simple. It doesn't fall into any limits set up by the society and you just simply don't care if people choose to define it that way. Because you know that it's just love in its purest simplest form. It's like a big cloud. Everyone wants it to be solid so they can touch it (because we need a proof of materialism for everything around us)  but the truth is love is just a big mass of white pure whispy substance which can't be touched or defined. It can just be absorbed. It can be felt.

P.S Isn't it so amazing when your friends feel the same deep shit that you do?

Would feel REALLY good to live like an ultimate hippie won't it? Just loving your way through life. Too bad we're ambitious humans.

Why I Can't Discuss Politics

My knowledge of politics is highly insufficient. And I want to make it sufficient, I really do, but the problem is I've never really talked to the right kind of person who can answer my questions the way I expect them to be answered.
Whenever I sit with someone to discuss politics, I get impatient. It's because their description and list of what's wrong with Pakistan is SO LONG and I keep waiting for the time when they discuss the solutions but that part hardly ever comes. Even if it does, (despite my inexperienced and unprofessional opinions) I find their solutions so thoroughly incompetent that I want to scream at them.
From what I have experienced up till now, here is what happens:
We're discussing illiteracy in Pakistan. People don't want to get education. The government isn't spending enough funds on building schools. There is too much corruption. It's all our leaders fault.
Yes, I get it. You're not wrong. We have a problem, obviously it's because of a reason and your reasons are completely sensible. But for heavens sake, DO NOT conclude at it's all our leaders fault.
You really want to find solutions? Walk a mile in their shoes. You try setting up a school when powerful external forces don't want you to. I'm not defending the leaders. I'm just saying that if corruption is one of the reasons why illiteracy is spreading, then don't just tell me that we need to set up new schools to eradicate illiteracy, tell me how you can do it with corruption hindering your aims.
It's just what I expect from the "knowledgeable" people of my circles.

Getting Shitted Upon

The reason why I've started blogging so much is because this is literally the only comfort I have now a days. The joy of constantly writing and whining is so relieving. And the best part is that because it's MY blog, and no one comments on it, no one can tell me to stop whining!

The thing is that all my friends are facing exactly the same situation that I am. That feeling of being trapped and suffocated (not to death because death would just put an end to the misery of being suffocated and what we're in has no end). So even though I do not hesitate in relieving myself and dumping all my whining on my friends, it really isn't as consoling as I would want it to be. Because we all know there just is no escape from all this.

Dear future me,
I know once we get past the time and look back, it seems not-so-difficult and looks quite happy. But please remember that college years were the worst years of your teenage life. Everyday your soul died a little and the funny part is that I'm not even joking. Your soul LITERALLY died every day. What you loved most about studying came to you in your college years and bit you in the ass until you were so sore that you couldn't even sit straight anymore. And after it was done biting you it shat on your favourite doll. The doll was made of cotton so it absorbed all the shit and so, you couldn't touch the doll until it was thoroughly cleaned which took A LOT of time. And even after it was cleaned, there were marks left behind which reminded you of how your doll was shat-upon. So don't you dare tell anyone that college years were fun and you learned a lot and all that bullshit because what you learnt doesn't outweigh how your doll was shat-upon. The only kindness you can do to the poor souls who are just entering into college-life is to warn them how their soul will slowly die. Or don't. Knowledge of it beforehand doesn't really make it any easier. Just give them a mournful pat on the back or a hug and tell them that it will be over soon.

The only hope I have right now that keeps me going is that I've been told that the college years really are horrible. After these two years, life gets just a wee bit okay-ier. I'm gambling on that 'later'. But for now I’ll just be overly dramatic:

My soul is dying and dead and dying again,

It's dead, it's dead, and it keeps dying again,

It gets up again and dies and then dies again,

It's killing me, it's worrying me and it's driving me insane.

P.S The doll represents everything that I love doing but I can't do any of those things. And by some miracle even if I do end up doing the stuff that I want to, it isn't really that much fun because most of the time is spent worrying about how I'm not studying.

The moment: 4

The moment when your teacher asks you if she should start the next topic in the last ten minutes left and obviously the class welcomes the question with a big NOOOOO! But still, teacher starts the next topic (Seriously, WHY DO YOU EVEN BOTHER ASKING US IN THE FIRST PLACE? DO YOU LIKE GIVING US HOPE JUST SO YOU CAN HAVE THE PLEASURE OF CRUSHING IT TO SMITHEREENS?). Your soul dies inside but you think, hey, it's just the last ten minutes. And after the ten minutes are over, and the blissful break bell rings, and YOUR TEACHER DOESN'T STOP TEACHING!

Now that is enough to make one cry. And I don't mean the "I-feel-like-crying" kind of feeling. I mean the "tears-are-about-to-escape-my-eyes-and-the-only-reason-I'm-holding-them-back-is-because-it's-going-to-look-pretty-stupid-if-I-start-crying" kind of crying.

When did I, somewhere along the road, start thinking that college years are supposed to be the best years of your life? Where? Just where? Tell me and I will go back in time and punch the shit out of myself and then scream "CHANGE THIS PHYSICAL PAIN INTO MENTAL AGONY YOU OPTIMISTIC BITCH THAT'S HOW MUCH IT'S GOING TO HURT IN COLLEGE!"