HELLO AGAIN FAITHFUL COMRADES!
I fear not telling you that I have returned after a narrow defeat
by the hands of MCAT The Strange. Yes. It will bear us no good for me to lie to
you, my faithful comrades, when the future is so uncertain and my heart
slightly heavy. Had I gotten three more MCQ’s correct, I would have been
rewarded with the passing aggregate percentage.
I accept defeat for it is what God had willed and though I
cannot see what benefits lie for me in the near future, I truly believe that
this will come around as good news, if not today, then one day.
Had the heavens aligned themselves with me and connected my
fate to my imagination, the future would have been so that I would get accepted
in Aga Khan Medical College and would have had enough funds in my treasury to
pay forth with. But the future, my faithful comrades, is still uncertain, and
the treasury still almost empty.
I wish to go forth on conquests in other Private Medical
Colleges, but what is a hindrance is the shortage of funds in my treasury. I
have no desire to ask more of my dearest Aunt and Uncle for they have done more
for me than anyone in this world. I wish to not burden them, for the conquests
in Private Medical College is a heavy burden indeed.
Such lies the paradox of life, my honorable friends, and I
find myself at a loss to do anything but to wait patiently. It is only when I
had to look for other options to sustain my future with, I realized, that I
wanted to be a Doctor and only a Doctor. I looked far and wide for other
modalities of life that would interest me but I have not found a single one
which holds more attraction. ‘Tis the sad truth that I find myself running
after something I do not have enough funds to pay with.
Perhaps I should avail this opportunity and turn elsewhere
for this Sun Year and then turn back next Sun Year to face MCAT The Strange
again. That, I have all the desire to do so. But what of this year, my worthy
comrades? I face the prospect of hard labor with Subjects that I have
absolutely no fondness for, nay, the subjects I have come to despise. I do not
enjoy the company of Pakistani Education System, for it is useless and futile
to indulge my brain into learning rather than seeking knowledge. Yes, that is
what I yearn for. Knowledge. I spent the past two years of my life locked in
the labyrinth of FSc The Fucking Awful and the only hope that sustained me was
that I will be free soon enough. To go back to the likings of the labyrinth
again, only to study what I have absolutely no desire to, gives me shivers
colder than the Coldest Winter, when all trees froze and hunger ran astray.
However, I realize I must not be stubborn, for defeat comes
to those who cannot bend their knees when needed. I am willing to form an
alliance with BSc. The I-Don’t-Really-Know or BA The My-Sister-Tells-Me-It’s-Fun.
There too, my faithful comrades, I fear a hindrance. Were I to form an alliance
with BSc. The I-Don’t-Really-Know, I would find myself in complete agony of
studying all that disinterests me and kills my soul, for Chemistry is no friend
of mine. Not, only that, but it would close up the options of any other life
path that I would want to choose for myself, lest the dream of conquering MBBS
goes to seven hells below.
If I form an alliance with or BA The My-Sister-Tells-Me-It’s-Fun,
I find myself at an advantage. I can accompany subjects whose presence I truly
desire, like Lady Biochemistry (For she will help me next yer when I go forth
on my second conquest against MCAT The Strange; Lady International Relations
(For she has given me her word to help me in my conquest against CSS, if I am
to consider it in near future) and perhaps Sir Political Sciences or Sir
Physics. But the heavens do not permit an all advantageous consequence. I fear
that my alliance with or BA The My-Sister-Tells-Me-It’s-Fun would mean that I
would have to appear as a private student, allied with no educational
institution, for no educational institution offers the combination of subjects
that I truly desire. The time to apply to other universities has long gone, for
I was engaged in my struggle with MCAT The Strange when these other educational
institutions were forming alliances with students.
And here, once again, rises the paradox of life. And here,
once again I am compelled to say that I find myself at a loss to do anything
other than hope and wait patiently. In a few months time, my fate shall not be
as hazy as it is today. The fog of uncertainty shall lift, but I fear. I fear
not knowing what to do even when that fog of uncertainty has lifted.
