(Inspired by Stuart: A Life Backwards)
She put the
cassette in the recorder and pressed play.
*white
noise*
Jim:
INTERVIEW 1. I am Jim Dillinger and I will be interviewing Mr. John Hopscotch.
Interview is dated 12 September 1998.
*sound of
door opening, dragging feet and dropping down on a chair*
Jim: Mr.
John Hopscotch my name is Ji…
John:
*dazedly* I know y.. yo.. you’re he’r tooo inter.. interweyy me
Jim: Yes. I
am.
*silence*
Jim: Should?
Should I just start asking questions?
John:
Shhhhooot.
Jim: Well *clears throat* Mr. Hopscotch, umm
can you please tell us about the details of your… umm. Your first..
John: Mai
furst attemp to kill mysle?
Jim: *shifts
in seat* ye.. yes please
*silence*
John: Weell,
I’ wuz back in niney seven. I ha’ cum bck frm shoppin, I took m’ gun out..outaa m.my close’ and sho’ m’self
Jim: Why did
you do that?
John: W…Wha
u mean why? I wanne’ to kill me’slf tha’s why
Jim: Why did
you want to kill yourself?
*silence*
John:
Wh..why dos man wana kill emsel?
Jim: You
tell me Mr. Hopscotch.
*Silence*
Jim: Mr.
Hopscotch? Can I call you John?
*silence*
John: hmm?
Jim: John
why did you want to kill yourself?
John: cuz..
cuz I couldn’ see
Jim:
Couldn’t see what?
John:
n..nothin. couln’ see nothing.
Jim: What
were you expecting to see John?
*silence*
Jim: John?
*pause*
John:
*slowly* Couln’ see nothin.
*pause*
Jim: Okay.
Ummm, can you tell us about your..ummm... second attempt?
John: hmm?
Jim: Your
second attempt at suicide?
*pause*
John: still
couln’ see
Jim: What
were you hoping to see?
*pause*
John: ligh’
at the en’d of the tu’nellll
Jim: You
mean hope? You lost all hope?
*Silence*
*Jim fidgets
in chair*
Jim: Can you
please tell us in detail what happened the night of January 23rd,
1998?
*Silence*
John: I’
comes to yo’ and it…it shroudes yo’… ‘ntil yo can see no mo’.
Jim: Sorry?
John: I’
ain’ like a tun’l. it ain’ like a long time’ of misr’y tha’ finl’y en’s in’
ligh’
Jim: Life?
John: cuz’
it shrou’s yo’ up like a blanke’ o’ darkne’ an’ yo’ can’ see nothin’. Presen’
cove’s yo’ up so yo’re blin’.
*Silence*
Jim: *clears
throat* so.. umm. The second time you tried to kill yourself it was with a
knife?
John: hmm
Jim: Why did
you use a knife the second time?
*Silence*
John: Cuz..
cuzz *coughs violently*
*Sound of
John drinking water*
Jim: Are you
all right?
John: Cuz… slashin
give yo’ mental agony a subs’antial
reaso’.
Jim: I’m
sorry I don’t understand.
John: Yo’
brain fill’ up with agony. You can’ share with no… no.. *coughs* nobo’y. bloo’
cumin’ out brin’s som’thn out. I’ relieves. The pain o’ slashin’ giv’ yo’ brain
a physica’ reason to feel pain.
Jim: Is that
why you committed suicide?
*Silence*
Jim: John?
*Silence*
Jim: Well,
umm, is this program helping you cope up with your…
John: no
Jim: why
not?
John: I’
don’ take away m’ pai’
*pause*
Jim: I..
umm. Well.. how would you want to take away your pain?
John: By
maki’ I’ all go awa’
Jim: Can you
propose a solution other than suicide to make this happen?
*Silence*
Jim: John?
Jim: I’
stuck here
Jim: There
are outlets you can have John, no one is stuck in their lives. Everyone has an
outle..
John: *bangs
on table* THE’ AIN’ NO OU’LET
*sounds of
falling chair*
*sounds of
heavy breathing, draggin footsteps*
John:
*distant voice* the’ ain’ no ou’le
Jim: I’m
so..sorry John i..i didn’t mean to… sorry..
*sounds of
Jim getting up from chair*
*sounds of
door opening and closing*
*Silence*
Jim: Well,
umm… interview concluded 1:35 pm
*sound of
rummaging papers*
*silence*
*white
noise*
Jim:
November 28th 1998. Interviewee John Hopscotch died today. Suicide.
Cause: Multiple slash wounds on wrist. Interview process terminated.
*Player
button pops up*
She couldn’t
move from the counter.
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