Been reading Michael Palin's diary and now I think his writing style will influence mine. Like the time I watched 9 seasons of Scrubs and ended up with a voice inside my head like JD's which carried out lots of internal monologues. True story.

I was thinking how for quite some time I have been trying to find some order into my life. Been trying to figure out some fixed laws around which life revolves; some unchanging facts to make life a little more predictable and safe but it's all just constantly changing all the time. It's so unpredictable. Exciting? YES. (I wonder if this instability has got anything to go with having an unstable family structure?)

Like the paradox of life right now. It's so fucking monotonous. I hate it. Yet, there is an instability.

Come to think of it, its the future that is unstable. Present sucks and future is so uncertain. I like the uncertainty. Keeps life mysterious and exciting. It's the present I'm sick of right now. And I fear that future will be just as sucky as the present.

Ah well. Who are we to worry about the future? It's just the present I'm worried about. IT SUCKS.