I know recently I have developed an abusive streak but I'm just so unhappy with the way things are going. Keeping it all in DOES NOT help. I hate living like this. And to think that maybe this is how the next ten years of my life will be like.

I crave the wind. I crave jumping in the spring showers. Why does it have to be like this? Why can't I feel free, enjoy my life and be more pleasant to my mom - victim of my never ending angry outbursts. I think Hey! I'll just be angry with her now, get it all out and then I'll be nice. Only, the niceness never comes because my mind is never at ease. It is in a constant state of disturbance which makes me a perpetually irritated person. HATE LIVING LIKE THIS.