Not Everything Should Have A Title

This is crazily the most underrated sketch in all of Monty Python. It's not been redone even once in their albums or shows which is sad because it's SO>DAMN>FUNNY (This is what happens when you are using the shift button to write in capitals but are too lazy to remove your finger to put a fullstop)

Bishop	'Oh Mr Belpit your legs are so swollen' ... swollen .. 'Oh Mr Belpit - oh Mr Belpit your legs are so swollen'. (tries a different voice) 'Oh Mr Belpit., .'
Mr Chigger	Excuse me, excuse me. I saw your advertisement for flying lessons and I'd like to make an application.
Bishop	Nothing to do with me. I'm not in this show.
Mr Chigger	Oh I see. D'you ... d'you., . do you know about the flying lessons?
Bishop	Nothing to do with me. I'm not in this show. This is show five - I'm not in until show eight.
Mr Chigger	Oh I see.
Bishop	I'm just learning my lines, you know. 'Oh Mr Belpit, your legs...'
Mr Chigger	Bit awkward, I'm a bit stuck.
Bishop	Yes, well. Try over there.
	Bishop points to a secretary some yards away sitting at a desk typing. She wears glasses and is very typically a secretary.
Mr Chigger	Oh yes, thanks. Thanks a lot.
Bishop	'Oh Mr Belpit' - not at all - 'your legs are so swollen'. (He continues rehearsing as Mr Chigger moves over to the secretary)
Mr Chigger	Excuse me, I saw your advertisement for flying lessons and I'd like to make an application.
Secretary	Appointment?
Mr Chigger	Yes, yes.
Secretary	Certainly. Would you come this way, please.
	She gets up, clutching a file and trips off in a typical efficient secretary's walk. Mr Chigger follows. Cut to a river. She goes straight in without looking to right or left, as if she does this routine as a matter of course. Mr Chigger follows. Halfway across the river they pass a couple of business executives hurrying in the opposite direction.
Secretary	Morning, Mr Jones, Mr Barnes.
	Cut to a forest. They come past towards camera, passing a tea trolley on the way with a tea lady and a couple of men around it.
Secretary	Morning Mrs Wills.
Mrs Wills	Morning, luv.
	Arty shot. Skyline of a short sharp hill, as in Bergman's 'Seventh Seal'. They come in frame right and up and over, passing two men and exchanging 'Good mornings'. Cut to seashore. Tripping along, they pass another executive.
Executive	Take this to Marketing, would you.
	They disappear into a cave. We hear footsteps and a heavy door opening.
Secretary's Voice	Just follow me.
Mr Chigger's Voice	Oh thank you.
	Cut to a shopping street. Camera pans in close-up across road surface.
Secretary's Voice	Oh, be careful.
Mr Chigger's Voice	Yes, nearly tripped.
Secretary's Voice	Be there soon.
Mr Chigger's Voice	Good. It's a long way, isn't it?
Secretary's Voice	Oh, get hold of that - watch it.
Voice	Morning.
Secretary's Voice	Morning. Upstairs. Be careful, it's very steep. Almost there.
	Camera reaches a GPO tent in middle of road.
Voice	Morning.
Secretary	Morning. (they emerge from the tent) Will you come this way, please. (cut to interior office, another identical secretary at the desk) In here, please.
Mr Chigger	Thank you. (he enters and first secretary trips off he approaches the second secretary) Hello, I saw your advertisement for flying lessons and I'd like to make an appointment.
Second Secretary	Well, Mr Anemone's on the phone at the moment, but I'm sure he won't mind if you go on in. Through here.
Mr Chigger	Thank you.
	He goes through door. Mr Anemone is suspended by a wire about nine feet off the ground. He is on the telephone.
Mr Anemone	Ah, won't be a moment. Make yourself at home. (into phone) No, no, well look, you can ask Mr Maudling but I'm sure he'll never agree. Not for fifty shillings ... no... no. Bye-bye Gordon. Bye-bye. Oh dear. Bye-bye. (he throws receiver at telephone but misses) Missed. Now Mr er...
Mr Chigger	Chigger.
Mr Anemone	Mr Chigger. So, you want to learn to fly?
Mr Chigger	Yes.
Mr Anemone	Right, well, up on the table, arms out, fingers together, knees bent...
Mr Chigger	No, no, no.
Mr Anemone	(very loudly) Up on the table! (Mr Chigger gets on the table) Arms out, fingers together, knees bent, now, head well forward. Now, flap your arms. Go on, flap, faster... faster... faster... faster, faster, faster, faster - now jump! (Mr Chigger jumps and lands on the floor) Rotten. Rotten. You're no bloody use at all. You're an utter bloody wash-out. You make me sick, you weed!
Mr Chigger	Now look here...
Mr Anemone	All right, all right. I'll give you one more chance, get on the table...
Mr Chigger	Look, I came here to learn how to fly an aeroplane.
Mr Anemone	A what?
Mr Chigger	I came here to learn how to fly an aeroplane.
Mr Anemone	(sarcasticaly) Oh, 'an aeroplane'. Oh, I say, we are grand, aren't we? (imitation posh accent) 'Oh, oh, no more buttered scones for me, mater. I'm off to play the grand piano'. 'Pardon me while I fly my aeroplane.' Now get on the table!
Mr Chigger	Look. No one in the history of the world has ever been able to fly like that.
Mr Anemone	Oh, I suppose mater told you that while you were out riding. Well, if people can't fly what am I doing up here?
Mr Chigger	You're on a wire.
Mr Anemone	Oh, a wire. I'm on a wire, am I?
Mr Chigger	Of course you're on a bloody wire.
Mr Anemone	I am not on a wire. I am flying.
Mr Chigger	You're on a wire.
Mr Anemone	I am flying.
Mr Chigger	You're on a wire.
Mr Anemone	I'll show you whether I'm on a wire or not. Give me the 'oop.
Mr Chigger	What?
Mr Anemone	Oh, I don't suppose we know what an 'oop is. I suppose pater thought they were a bit common, except on the bleedin' croquet lawn.
Mr Chigger	Oh, a hoop.
Mr Anemone	'Oh an hoop.' (taking hoop) Thank you, your bleeding Highness. Now. Look. (he waves hoop over head and feet)
Mr Chigger	Go on, right the way along.
Mr Anemone	All right, all right, all right. (he moves hoop all the way along himself allowing the wire to pass through obvious gap in hoop's circumference). Now, where's the bleeding wire, then?
Mr Chigger	That hoop's got a hole in.
Mr Anemone	Oh Eton and Madgalene. The hoop has an hole in. Of course it's got a hole in, it wouldn't be a hoop otherwise, would it, mush!
Mr Chigger	No, there's a gap in the middle, there.
Mr Anemone	Oh, a gahp. A gahp in one's hhhhhoop. Pardon me, but I'm off to play the grand piano.
Mr Chigger	Look, I can see you're on a wire - look, there it is.
Mr Anemone	Look, I told you, you bastard, I'm not on a wire.
Mr Chigger	You are. There is.
Mr Anemone	There isn't.
Mr Chigger	Is.
Mr Anemone	Isn't!
Mr Chigger	Is!
Mr Anemone	Isn't!
Mr Chigger	Is!
Mr Anemone	Isn't!
Mr Chigger	Is!
Mr Anemone	Isn't!!
Mr Chigger	Is!!!
Voice Over	Anyway, this rather pointless bickering went on for some time until...